Coming out of a conservative, hegemonic, patriarchal religion like Jehovah's Witnesses I have changed in myriad ways. At this point in my life I am sure that I will never again subscribe to the tenets of another organized religion. In my opinion religion does more harm than good. It divides families and friends, it destroys nations and civilizations all by dictating the way people think and eventually feel. The wars that are waged around the world and the lives destroyed are done in the name of religion. I cannot think of one good thing done in a religious context.
There will be more to come on this topic....
Tuesday, May 6, 2008
How I left, and contributing factors
As a kid growing up in a Jehovah's Witness household one of the first things I learned was the importance of having good associations. To be considered good association one must have good standing in the congregation, being baptized guaranteed it, but since children were not baptized before they had an understanding of what was going on and what was expected of a Jehovah's Witness, there were other factors. Some of the questions most parents asked about their children's associates was whether or not they participated in the 'life saving' work of door to door witnessing as a 'publisher', did they not only attend the meetings with their families but also participate in the discussions, and did they have good influences in their lives? If the answer to any or all of these questions were no, you might be bad association.
Usually the kids who were good associations had fathers who were Elders or Ministerial Servants. Usually their mothers worked part time or didn't work at all and pioneered, served full-time in the field ministry.
I grew up in a single parent home, and my mom never pioneered, my grandmother did though and she had really good standing in the congregation. My mom was seen as ambitious, she eventually worked towards a professional degree in order to help provide for her small family. This, was something that I loved my mom for. However , it didn't go over too well in the congregation.
I don't think that my sister and I were officially labeled bad association during our time as children, but we definitely were not seen as good association.
It was pretty lonely for kids who didn't have parents were were well regarded in the congregation. You were admonished for having "worldly" friends but, you were never invited to the Jehovah's Witness kids' parties or outings.
To me it was very hypocritical, and by the time I finished my second year of college I was gone.
Usually the kids who were good associations had fathers who were Elders or Ministerial Servants. Usually their mothers worked part time or didn't work at all and pioneered, served full-time in the field ministry.
I grew up in a single parent home, and my mom never pioneered, my grandmother did though and she had really good standing in the congregation. My mom was seen as ambitious, she eventually worked towards a professional degree in order to help provide for her small family. This, was something that I loved my mom for. However , it didn't go over too well in the congregation.
I don't think that my sister and I were officially labeled bad association during our time as children, but we definitely were not seen as good association.
It was pretty lonely for kids who didn't have parents were were well regarded in the congregation. You were admonished for having "worldly" friends but, you were never invited to the Jehovah's Witness kids' parties or outings.
To me it was very hypocritical, and by the time I finished my second year of college I was gone.
Thursday, May 1, 2008
A kid
As I kid I LOVED Jehovah, I mean I was taught that you were supposed to love him more than yourself, more than your family. I was taught to read using the bible and I was taught to pray before I could read. When I went to school I was probably one of the first kids in my grade who could read. Since before I can remember I was engaging in the door to door ministry with my family, when I was 9 or 10 years old I was raising my hand during meetings at the Kingdom Hall to give comments on what I learned in my bible studies, and not soon after than I was taking part in the theocratic ministry school demonstrating my vast biblical knowledge and love for God.
When I became a teenager I started to question if my devotion to God was actual love or if it was fear. I remember always being warned that we would be repaid for our sins even the ones only committed in the mind. I remember jumping in bed with my mom or my grandparents to wait out a thunderstorm that I would have sworn was Armageddon, hoping and praying that hopefully I hadn't done anything that day wrong enough to warrant death.
All of this seems so far away to me now, I am 28 years old and have not set foot in a Kingdom Hall in almost ten years. I went to college in 1998 and grad school in 2004 and moved over 400 miles away from everyone and everything that I had know growing up. I am not one of those ex-Jehovah's Witnesses that feels guilty about leaving or fights little urges to go back. I am completely happy with the way I chose to live my life now. I know that being raised as a Jehovah's Witness had a huge impact to the adult I have become, in some ways I know it has made me a good person, but in other ways I know that it left me naive to what I would encounter as I became an adult.
When I became a teenager I started to question if my devotion to God was actual love or if it was fear. I remember always being warned that we would be repaid for our sins even the ones only committed in the mind. I remember jumping in bed with my mom or my grandparents to wait out a thunderstorm that I would have sworn was Armageddon, hoping and praying that hopefully I hadn't done anything that day wrong enough to warrant death.
All of this seems so far away to me now, I am 28 years old and have not set foot in a Kingdom Hall in almost ten years. I went to college in 1998 and grad school in 2004 and moved over 400 miles away from everyone and everything that I had know growing up. I am not one of those ex-Jehovah's Witnesses that feels guilty about leaving or fights little urges to go back. I am completely happy with the way I chose to live my life now. I know that being raised as a Jehovah's Witness had a huge impact to the adult I have become, in some ways I know it has made me a good person, but in other ways I know that it left me naive to what I would encounter as I became an adult.
Introduction
The other night while attending a small celebration for a friend's recent completion of law school I met and struck up a conversation with the bartender about a book that he was reading which I believe was called Sins of Scripture. The book actually belonged to the woman at the bar sitting next to me who told me that she grew up in a family that belonged to a very conservative Christian religion. As she said these words I thought back on my own upbringing in the 80's living in a Jehovah's Witness household. She then mentioned that she had not chosen to stay in the religion, and had since become estranged from the majority of her family who disapproved of her choice, like so many others.
This is not the first time I have happened upon former believers, and each time I do I am left with a lasting impression. I think that growing up a Jehovah's Witness leaves lasting effects on us and I find it very stimulating to engage with others who had had a similar upbringing and have chosen to think for ourselves.
My goal in creating this blog is to create and foster dialog and not to disparage anyone's beliefs
This is not the first time I have happened upon former believers, and each time I do I am left with a lasting impression. I think that growing up a Jehovah's Witness leaves lasting effects on us and I find it very stimulating to engage with others who had had a similar upbringing and have chosen to think for ourselves.
My goal in creating this blog is to create and foster dialog and not to disparage anyone's beliefs
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